The Ugly Truth
Children are so precious. When I think about my own, I believe
they are the most beautiful children in the world and I will do anything to
make sure they are well taken care of. Even
in their imperfections, they make momma proud. You probably believe the same
about your children, right? As parents, we often put their needs before our own. They’re
born as these little magnificent people and as they grow, they develop their own
interesting and amusing personalities. Think about it, when your little angel
was born, you adored him more than life itself.
Well, I know I did
When my children were born, I decided
to become a stay-at-home mom because it was important to me that to bond and nurture them
during the first few years of their lives.
I wanted to be certain they were protected and that our
relationship was secure. Then, the season came when it was time for them to
begin daycare. Specifically for my two youngest children. They began attending daycare at approximately 3 and 4 years of age. Life was grand. I began working a full-time
job. After spending each day and all day
with my children, it was nice to get out of those house clothes and dress professionally
again. I felt good about myself. I was
able to use my college degree in a field which I enjoyed. Even better, I was able to interact with
adults on a different level, instead of only communicating with other moms about
kid stuff, while playing on the swings the park.
I was excited about my
children attending daycare. I had spent
a few years as a stay-at-home mom, nurturing them and teaching them what they
needed to know up to the stage of being a toddler. My children
were developed and well prepared for being in a classroom setting, congregating
with their peers and becoming more independent.
As I would pick up my children
each day, happy to see them, they would run up to me and give me a huge hug;
it was the best part of my entire day.
Have you ever picked up your child from school or daycare and the Teacher informed you that your child is defiant and cruel to other children? How did you respond? What were your thoughts?
During your conversation with
the Teacher, did you think to yourself; “that can’t be my child? My child doesn’t
behave that way”. You continue listening
and then inform the Teacher that you will speak to your child about the
behavior. The truth of what the Teacher
says is difficult to understand because you have never witnessed that kind of
behavior in your child nor has anyone else ever mentioned that behavior to
you (or maybe they have).
When you get home, you ask
your child about the situation and what the Teacher informed you but your child denies the
behavior. Your child tells you about how
other students are getting him in trouble or that the Teacher is picking on
him.
As the school year prolongs,
you begin receiving more negative reports from the Teacher regarding your child’s
behavior. You begin to feel like you
need to get to the bottom of this situation.
In a meeting with the Teacher and your child, your child becomes coy as the Teacher tells you about specific occasions when your
child is disruptive and he isn't following to the rules. The Teacher informs you that
your child is constantly redirected in class.
The Truth is; your child has become a problem child. Your child is not the angel you thought he/she was. Now it’s time to accept and acknowledge the Ugly Truth.
No Parent wants to believe
their child is causing problems. You
don’t want to believe that your child is the ring leader and that the other
children who are also getting in trouble are being influenced by your
child. Your little angel is growing and
learning in a way that you didn’t anticipate.
Your child is now becoming the origin of all your troubles. It’s
difficult to receive a negative report after a negative report, day after
day.
“What did I do wrong?”
…this is what you ask
yourself. However, instead of placing
blame on yourself or anyone else; Take Action!
Accept the Truth, no matter how ugly it may be. Acknowledge that there is more work which
needs to be done at home in order to assist your child at becoming a positive
and quality human being. Adding or changing the structure of your environment
will provide a sense of safety for both you and your child. Believe it or not,
children yearn for structure and security. Maybe that’s been missing in your
environment lately. Maybe your typical
schedule has changed recently.
You may need to visit the
school and have lunch with your child on occasion. Volunteering in the classroom is a great way
to show your child that you are an active parent. Parenting is not always going
to be an easy task. There will be seasons of difficulty. However, there are strategies that can be implemented
in order to redirect your child and get them back on a healthy and constructive
path. Either way, don’t be discouraged.
It’s not the end of the world. But it is time to realize that some changes are
due and it’s appropriate to reevaluate your situation.
Remember, It’s not the end of
the World
LaTanya Blackmon, Certified Professional Life Coach & Parent Coach
We aren't doing our children any favors when we overlook the times when they act out. Of course they will act out from time to time. They're human! But only when we accept this and move forward with guidance for our little angels will they benefit and grow into the adults we want them to be. Hard to do, but essential. Thank you for sharing, fellow 31 dayer!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right. Thank you for reading. Be blessed!
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